Toxic Romanticization: Why Is It Suddenly Attractive to Have a Toxic Partner?
The internet and social media in particular have already given us one or the other in recent years trend create – both positive and negative. Whether strange fashion trends, helpful make-up techniques or practical household tips: from every category there was one or the other – albeit sometimes quite questionable – tip that spread like wildfire and quickly gained popularity. Unfortunately, unrealistic ideals of beauty are also part of it and ensure that young people in particular strive for something that is not good for them, just to fit into some scheme. And also Relationships are not spared from this development. For some inexplicable reason, more and more videos from different creators are circulating tik tokwho rave about how it is, a toxic to be in a relationship and how attractive that is to her. She romanticize other people’s unhealthy behaviors or their own, fueling a trend that needs to be stopped.
Toxic romanticization: When jealousy and prohibitions are suddenly the ultimate
The TikTok community is incredibly good at romanticizing things. As a “main character” you should decorate your life like in a romcom or another feelgood film, put it in the foreground and live it out as if the camera were always pointed at you and you were playing the leading role – actually a movement that can help to live more consciously and better in the moment. So it’s as if your own life suddenly has a lot more color and frivolity than it usually has. You find the beautiful, romantic things in everyday life and savor them to the full – just like on a cinema screen.
However, the toxic romanticization leaves a very bitter aftertaste. It’s not about the finer things in life, it’s about the toxic qualities of a person you’re in a relationship with and whose behavior is portrayed as attractive and appealing. For example, unhealthy jealousy in the form of rules about clothing, friends, or a ban on parties is made desirable. After all, your partner only worries about you and is expressing that he/she no longer wants to give you away or wants to have you all to himself – how sweet, isn’t it?
Toxic Romanticism: He:She’s a Good Boy/Girl? Next, please!
If you watch several of these videos, you quickly realize that the vast majority are made by women who have a crush on toxic men. The clear message behind this: Toxic men are clearly preferred over others. But you can also find videos the other way around in which unhealthy behavior by women is presented as an ideal. This can quickly give the impression that people who show healthy and good manners with their fellow human beings are simply uninteresting. In videos, creators show how they prefer to ignore people who, for example, text them back quickly and treat them well. After all, you know where you stand – where’s the mystery in that? According to this trend, it’s much more attractive to have to keep asking yourself if the other person has feelings for you and how they feel about you – huh? How can it be that this is okay?