Fear of Happiness: This is how you recognize cherophobia and how to fight it
Finally getting the acceptance for the dream job, being able to pay long outstanding bills or spending time with loved ones: all these things make us happy and satisfied sooner or later. We strive to reach this state and to get the feeling for a short moment that everything is just fine the way it is. Our big goal in life: To be happy – or? In fact, there are also people who want to avoid exactly this condition because they are under a great Fear suffer: the cherophobia. But how can you be afraid to be happy? Everything you about symptoms and causes of this phobia you need to know and how best to fight them, you can find out here.
Fear of happiness: That’s behind cherophobia – and that’s why women suffer from it more often
Imagine that you consciously avoid successes and beautiful moments. Why? To just not get the feeling of being happy. Affected people are afraid of the consequences that could follow from being happy. Through negative experiences or trauma from the past, they have learned that disappointment, pain or sadness are directly linked to feelings of happiness. What also plays a big part in this is the loss of newfound happiness, which scares them. People who suffer from cherophobia, or fear of happiness, have been taught that they are not worthy of being relaxed and content. For them, this emotion goes hand in hand with bad luck, which they want to avoid.
And if there’s one group of people who are taught from the start to subordinate their own likes and desires to those of others, it’s women. They are taught that it is selfish to focus on what makes them truly happy. Many people have this belief engraved in their consciousness, which is why many women experience an inner conflict when they are happy. They feel guilty about prioritizing their own needs over those of outsiders, their partner, children, or friends. After all, they are there to make others happy and not themselves – which of course is absolute nonsense and belongs in a completely different time.
Fear of happiness: This is how a cherophobia manifests itself
Those affected often go through the day with a certain amount of caution. They don’t allow themselves to enjoy things and just be satisfied with their accomplishments. This often goes hand in hand with perfectionism, which prevents you from doing it anyway. Phrases like, “Thou shalt not commend the day before the evening” are classic beliefs of a person suffering from cherophobia. They often look for the fly in the ointment – the main thing is that there is a mistake somewhere.
The dangerous thing about it: Preventing yourself from being happy can be pretty unhealthy in the long run. Those affected can suffer from a lack of happiness hormones such as serotonin, which can severely limit their well-being. Depression can result. An increased release of stress hormones can also damage your health. Those affected also often have low self-esteem. They think they don’t deserve to be happy, so they refuse to do so. In doing so, they punish their own body and psyche.
Fear of happiness: Here’s what you can do to combat your cherophobia
What can you do now to re-teach yourself that you are worth being happy? There are many small steps you can take to do this. But if you have the feeling that you are no longer able to get out of the cherophobia yourself, you should seek a conversation with a therapist. He:she can help you get to the root of the problem and accompanies you on your way to recovery without leaving your side.
Small things that you can incorporate into your everyday life to be happier are small rituals, like keeping a gratitude journal. It’s often the little things in life that are beautiful, but escape our attention and aren’t appreciated enough. Even if it’s just the smile of a:a barista who:who prepares your favorite coffee for you. Try to write down those little moments and write down three things every day that you’re grateful for today. In this way you will quickly learn that happiness is not automatically associated with negative emotions.
To paraphrase Marie Kondo: “Find what sparks joy in you!” Look for habits or hobbies that are unique to you and whose only goal is to bring you a bit of lightness and serenity. Make this a routine and you’ll see your cherophobia getting weaker with time.