Envious of friends: This is how you get rid of resentment and manage to be happy too
a healthy one Friendship lives from being there for each other – no matter what. You are there for each other in both beautiful and painful moments, stand by each other and experience the ups and downs of life together. Most of the time, though, we’re really only talking about the latter and not about how we should relate to each other when there’s good news or other celebratory moments. I would say that there is no one who has never in his/her life envious on a Girlfriend was to whom something positive happened – including me. That’s a pretty ugly truth, but that’s the way it is. And anyone who claims the opposite is fibbing a little to themselves. But how do you manage to get away from envy and the resentment to solve and be honest with friends to rejoicewhen there is something to celebrate?
Jealous of friends: We’ve all had this thought at some point
Be honest: Have you ever been jealous of a friend who just landed his/her dream job, met the love of his/her life or just found money on the street while your life was in the thousands parts broken. It’s not always so easy for us to jump sky-high and be happy for others when we have absolutely nothing to celebrate – quite the opposite. If things just aren’t going well at the moment and a friend tells us with a broad grin what great thing just happened to him/her, sometimes the laughter gets stuck in our throats – but is that really so reprehensible?
Sure: envy and resentment are not particularly nice feelings. It’s not for nothing that they are described as ugly. But does it make us bad people if we catch ourselves feeling that way? No way. If anything, it only makes us more human because none of us are perfect. We don’t walk through life with a fixed grin and hug everyone who crosses our path. We also have negative emotions. It’s also perfectly okay to not be so positive and not to be mentally able to be happy for others. However, there is a certain limit that should not be exceeded. If this state is not just an exception, but the rule, we should change something in our mindset. Because being jealous of friends not only hurts others in the long run, but also ourselves.
Envious of Friends: Is It Okay to Address Envy in Friendships?
Envy is one of those emotions that is absolutely shameful. We don’t talk about it – at least seriously – when we’re jealous, because that puts us in a bad light in front of others and, well, that’s just not right. But what would happen if we just told our friends openly and honestly when we were jealous of them? Probably nothing at all, except for a conversation that would strengthen the bond with the other person even more. Direct communication is actually never a bad step and helps to better understand and assess the other person.
Envy always arises subliminally with a comparison. We compare ourselves, if only subconsciously, to friends, their jobs, relationships, and achievements. In doing so, we look at ourselves and realize that things are a little different here. A kind of competition arises and leads to us looking at the lives of others with a certain amount of envy. It’s so deeply rooted in us that we often can’t do anything about it. Going into an open exchange can help to deal with these feelings better and thus strengthen the relationship with these people.
Envious of friends: With these tips it will be easier for you to work on your envy
There are moments when we would like to be happy for our fellow human beings – but we can’t. Somehow we only see everything that we don’t have in the breathtaking holiday photos, the beautiful clothes or the great opportunities that others tell us about. We give you valuable tips to deal with your feelings better.
Get to the bottom of it
The most important thing to understand your jealousy is to get to the bottom of it. Basically we feel: You have something that I don’t have but want. Maybe you felt exactly this feeling more often in your childhood and took it with you into adulthood. It may also be that when you were younger you often had the impression that you weren’t getting enough, while realizing that other people didn’t feel the same way. This can also contribute to the fact that you are struggling with envy today. Search for clues and look for the cause of your feelings.
Don’t be so hard on yourself
You realize you’re jealous of friends and judge yourself for it – but what’s the point? We all feel jealous of others at times and there is nothing we can do about it. Don’t be too harsh on yourself, as that will only fuel a negative self-image, which in turn will lead to more comparison and eventually envy. Therefore, it is better to accept the feeling than to despise it.
Be open about your feelings
As already mentioned, an open approach can’t hurt either. Talk to friends if you feel that way. Turning away from them or saying any nasty things behind their back out of resentment is definitely not the way to go. Communicate honestly what the beautiful holiday pictures or his/her happiness in the relationship are doing to you. Be sure to also say that you are not wishing him/her anything bad, but instead emphasize that you are struggling a bit on this point yourself.
That sounds strange at first, but: Use envy to your advantage. In the end, this emotion only shows you what you want for yourself but don’t have right now, be it something material or not. Convert that feeling into motivation to achieve the same thing and get that little bit closer to your dreams. But it should never be about punching or outdoing that other person. Concentrate on yourself and your path. This way you can change your envy into something positive and deal with it better.